Observations on a plane

After a 5-hour flight delay (not to mention the hour later spent on the Tarmac):

A husband and wife get on, and the wife is afraid of flying. The plane is tiny, and this doesn’t sit well with her. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” the wife says. I am feeling cranky and want to say “No one’s making you do anything.” Jeff, seated 4 rows behind me, unknowingly makes up for my mean mental comment by swapping seats so they could sit together since she is scared.

The flight attendant threatens a $10,000 fine on someone who has their headphones in after she told us to turn them off. Clearly, she is crankier than me.

A couple in the row ahead of me has decided it’s very important to drink. So important, in fact, that they ask everyone on the plane for change for $100 bill when the flight attendant won’t break it.

Several drinks later, the couple disappears and no one thinks anything of it until cranky flight attendant comes to collect trash and no one is in their row. She looks around and then asks me “Did they go to the bathroom together?” I shrug my shoulders then start laughing. Guy next to me starts laughing too.

“Should we clap for them when they come back?” I ask him.
“”Don’t you dare,” he laughs.

They return, one at a time, trying to hide their smiles. I resist the urge to tap the guy on the shoulder and say “You guys totally just got busted!” (Flight DL6249 from JFK to CLT, in case the happy couple is reading this.)

Jeff and I left our hotel in Brooklyn for the airport 11 hours ago. We’re still 20 minutes from home (just leaving CLT airport.) We could have driven home and gotten back earlier than this …