Note: I’ve never had the “pleasure” of living on the bottom floor of an apartment. I’ve always been on the top floor. But as I’ve been recovering from my injuries, I’ve been staying some at Anil’s house. He happens to have very, very noisy neighbors. I started writing a mental letter to them in my head when their kids started running across the floor at the early hour of 7 a.m. (I was awake, but it is not a nice thing to hear even when one is alert!). This is probably something I cannot send them (it’s way too harsh), but I wanted to write it for anyone else who either lives on the bottom or the top floor of an apartment. I had no idea, until now, how much can be heard between the ceiling and the floor …
Running. Back and forth. From the front door to the back bedroom, back to the front door, back to the back bedroom. This is what I hear first thing in the morning. And all morning. And all afternoon. Lather, rinse and repeat.
Speaking of lather, rinse and repeat, I also know when your children are taking a bath. When the toilet flushes. When the shower is running. It feels a bit odd, to be honest, and I often stay out of the bathroom when I can hear you in yours, so that I can give you as much privacy as possible.
I know what time your children wake up, because that’s when the running starts. The screaming starts sometime after that (your kids and yours). The jumping on the bed is about the most horrific activity your children participate in. You probably have no idea the effect it has – not only can I hear the box springs squeaking, but the fan in the master bedroom starts shaking and the sliding glass door in the living room starts rattling. I sometimes wonder if you’re hiding an elephant in your apartment.
There are other noises, too. Furniture scrapes constantly along the floor. It’s as if you redecorate every single day. The vaccuum cleaner is louder than I would expect it to be. I know when your kids are eating because the running stops and the scraping along the dining room floor starts. I can only assume it is chairs being pulled out.
Of course, not all of these noises are preventable. The vaccuuming. The furniture moving. The chairs being pulled out. The bath times.
But the unpreventable noises and the preventable noises make for a very, very noisy atmosphere. So please, please do not scream at your children. It only makes you look bad, anyway. Please do not let them jump on the bed or run a marathon inside the living room. If they have that much energy, you should really take them outside to play. In fact, when I was a kid, running inside the house was a big NO. If I ever did it, I got banished outside. Immediately.
The other noises will be so much easier to handle if you can just stop the preventable ones. Please, my sleep and my concentration and my sanity beg you.
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Ok, does anyone have any ideas how to actually communicate this nicely to the folks who live upstairs from Anil? He has already contacted the dad, months ago, to inform him it was a problem. The dad said he’d stop it, but it hasn’t stopped. The added “bonus” here is Anil actually owns the apartment and is the family’s landlord. He’d like to keep the relationship somewhat intact so he doesn’t lose a tenant, and plus, he actually likes the dad and doesn’t want to have any negativity. For the record, the screaming is 100% the mom. Not the dad.
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6 responses to “How do you ask someone nicely to stfu? Their kids too?”
easier way to do it is saying it as it is… 🙂
I’d print that post and put it under their door… hehehehe
🙂
xxx
I once lived in an apartment where the landlord’s solution to things like this was to slip a note through the mail slot of every unit, gently reminding “all” tenants of the policies on noise/use of the communal washer & dryer/flushing things down the toilet that you shouldn’t…
They ran the lines of “Dear tenants, we’re very happy you have chosen to live here, however, there have been reports to management that some units are experiencing unreasonable levels of noise. Please be mindful that you are living in a community with shared walls and make an effort to be considerate. Upon reviewing your lease, you will note that repeated noise violations are grounds for eviction, so it is in your own best interests as well to remain within the rental guidelines.”
You know when they’re talking about you, and you know when they’re not. You can hope that they’ll get the hint, but if not, Anil may need to say again, “Hey, I know we’ve talked about this, but I’m really going to need you all to keep it down a bit more.”
I’ve no idea how to say any of that politely, but I do deal with some of the same things. I’ve always been a top apartment, so I do try and keep the running and jumping to a minimum (when DDR was popular I only played while the downstairs tenant was at work.)
But, since I’ve moved into where I’m living now I’ve noticed that I can tell when anyone is doing anything. I can tell when downstairs is fighting (and when they’re making up). I can tell you when someone is showering and whether it’s downstairs or next door. My downstairs neighbor’s vacuum every day, while next door hardly ever does. I can hear conversations from next door while I’m in my kitchen (the adjacent wall), and sometimes I fill in the other half if one of them (usually the male) is talking quietly.
But, the absolute best is, when I’m in the bathroom, doing my thing and I hear the roar of snoring from right behind my head. I’ve never found a polite way to say something when I see them in the driveway or on the stairs. For some reason, “Your snoring makes peeing difficult” and “You got last night’s Final Jeopardy wrong” seem rude.
So, if you get an answer, make sure to let me know!
Sorry, that stinks. I have no good way of telling them. I’m horrible at any kind of confrontation. Just from a mother’s perspective, I have to say I’m sure she hates that they are up at 7am and running around. It’s probably why she’s yelling a lot. Also, it is really hard to send kids outside an apartment to play. Parking lots are just too close for comfort and most likely there is not a lot of room to play anyway. Plus, when kids are outside they are then within earshot of every single window of the apartment complex, not just their house. She may be trying to contain the noise (at your expense). Also, she may (like me) be unable to go outside to supervise as much as she’d like. Anyway, I know it probably doesn’t help in the moment, but that’s just my perspective of the kid portion of the noise.
You could always return the favor so that may actually realize how annoying it is. Knock your broom on the ceiling 🙁
Unfortunately I’d have to say that this is one of the downsides to living under someone else. I have the same problem in my house, but it is my own family making the noise upstairs!
Perhaps since Anil is the landlord, he could talk to them again, but he’ll have to decide how big a problem it really is to determine how to approach it.
I would add that my opinion is that as a guest, it is not your place to say anything to them about it, Anil needs to be the one to say something. That is, if he decides something more needs to be said.