Sex talk: Open book or be discreet?

I am a very inquisitive person. If a question pops in my head and I feel like I know you well enough, I will ask it. Sometimes I preface it with “This might be TMI, but …” but truthfully, if I thought it was TMI, I wouldn’t ask. I’m just saying that so you won’t be shocked when you hear what comes out of my mouth next (or obligated to answer, should you choose not.)

As a result, I feel like I’m always learning. If I am quizzing you about a really delicate subject, I’ll try to keep the questions broad so you can tell me as much or as little as you deem appropriate. If we are really close and the conversation is really telling, I might start to get specific. I blame it on my journalism background – it’s in my nature to ask questions. Not my fault. Don’t blame me.

So here’s my question of the day to you:

How much do you reveal about your past sex life to your partner?

Do you keep your mouth shut until they ask, and then you tell them whatever they want to know? Do you stay discreet to protect the privacy of past partners? Do you answer questions statistically only: How many, when, and who? Or do you divulge as if you were writing a descriptive novel, telling every little detail (of course embellishing as needed to make yourself known as the very best lover in the world)? What if the question incriminates a past partner’s privacy specifically – such as “Was she as sexually adventurous if I am?” No matter the answer, you’re telling something about someone else. Does it matter?

What about friends? What do you tell them that’s different from what you tell your partner? More or less?

And are you uncomfortable when/if your partner asks you questions about your past?

Does this post make you uncomfortable?







6 responses to “Sex talk: Open book or be discreet?”

  1. Chris Avatar

    I think it’s important to mention certain things up-front without questions. Such as any STDs or whatever. Always need to know that stuff, especially if you’re sexually active.
    As for the other stuff, I think it’s important to maintain privacy of previous partners. But when with a partner, I think it’s okay to share fantasies, experiences, and stuff like that, but I’d still keep names private.

    Last blog post from Chris – Craving change (this happens from time to time)

  2. Heather Avatar

    I agree with Chris, across the board. It’s sometimes a fine line between being honest enough to have the conversation be useful and disclosing things that should remain private.
    As far as telling friends, I’m really an open book. Anyone is free to ask me anything, though I reserve the right to not answer if it will betray a confidence someone else has placed in me.
    This post didn’t make me uncomfortable at all.

    Last blog post from Heather – How Christmas Was Saved for the Grinch

  3. Lindsey Avatar

    I am also VERY inquisitive but mine is because of legal work where you’re supposed to know every single detail. If you’re telling me a story about something that happened to you, don’t be surprised if I am asking you questions about particular details and happenings. That being said, I am usually pretty open about things as well, even sex. I used to not be at all but I guess maturity has changed me? Or maybe I just don’t care anymore. My husband and I have shared quite a bit about our past sex lives with other partners. I think it’s helpful for the most part BUT it can cause problems when you hear a story about something that you just can’t picture your husband doing OR EVEN WORSE, hear something about a mutual friend that you still hang out with!!! Awkward!
    So basically to answer your questions…I think it’s helpful to discuss things like this. If you don’t feel like you can talk about it to a potential partner, maybe you should reconsider sleeping with them? Just a thought!

    Last blog post from Lindsey – What the hell are we going to do for New Years?

  4. Lindsey Avatar

    Does anyone else have “Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt n Pepa stuck in their head now??? No? Just me I guess…

    Last blog post from Lindsey – What the hell are we going to do for New Years?

  5. Jeffrey Avatar

    I do now, Lindsey. Thanks for that.

  6. Crystal Avatar

    “Let’s talk about all the good things, and the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about sex.” heheheh I love that song. It was just on 95.1 My-Pod at lunch.