On running buddies

Running friends are invaluable. When I first started running, sometimes the only reason I would even get out there would be because it’d be rude to cancel on the friend waiting for me. I knew this about myself so I was constantly begging people to run with me to keep me on track.

Somewhere along the way I’ve learned to get out there and go, even if it means running alone. I think training for the marathon is what did it – I have this goal to work toward, a goal that at one point seemed impossible (and on some days, still does!) and I know there’s no way I’ll make it without the practice. Ronnie moved to California (soooo thrilled he’s back now!) and so I lost my old running buddy. Then Kevin and Chris got hurt at the Blue Ridge Relay, so I lost their company on the sidewalk/asphalt/trails.

So, I’ve been running alone. And in some ways, I prefer it –

= I can take that extra bathroom break before lacing up my sneakers to ensure a comfortable run, without worrying if I’m running late to meet someone.

= Along those lines, if I want one more cup of coffee before I get off my lazy butt, I can do that. If that means running in the 1 p.m. heat of the day because I put off the run, well, I’m the only one who has to suffer.

= I take fewer walk breaks when running alone. And not because my running friends take lots of breaks – quite the opposite, oddly. If I’m running alone, if I feel I need a break I can slow down without actually stopping the run, and I can speed up when I feel good. If I’m with a buddy, I’m usually trying to pace with them, and while it doesn’t *feel* like I’m running too fast – I wonder if I am because I feel like I need more breaks when that happens. I psyche myself out with a friend, thinking, “I can’t take a walk break or else I’ll hold them up. No walk breaks … walk breaks … I need a walk break … “

That said, there are many reasons why having someone to run with is better than running alone:

= You know someone is counting on you to be there.

= On race day, you won’t be running alone, whether you like it or not. It’s good to have practice.

= When you’re running past a crazy man in a bathrobe screaming at you from the street corner well-known for drug deals and prostitution, it sucks being alone (yes, that was me this past weekend. And this was on a marked path with mile markers and everything.)

———-

So, we have established running buddies can be good, and at times inevitable. But things can get a tad tricky. Crystal mentioned this week that when she was running with someone who took shorter strides than she does, she ended up with calf pain at the end of the run. She felt bad just leaving her partner behind, though.

= Do you stay together every step of the way or is it acceptable to run faster or slower and catch up at the end?

= If the answer is stay together, how do you improve if your running friend is slower than you? (this is not something I need to worry about; I’m the slow one of the bunch. But I am curious.)

= Does the answer change if one person needs walk breaks/bathroom breaks/ water breaks? Does it change if the area of town is questionable and safety is an issue? Does it change if it’s a race?

= What’s the most annoying thing a running friend has done? I want to know so I don’t do this.

———-

I will say I certainly wish I was not alone the day I encountered a huge copperhead on the running trail. The two times I’ve needed a bathroom break while running I’ll say I prefered the time I was alone – it sucked having to ask Chris to wait for me, knowing I was messing up his run as well. Oh, and my dogs make excellent running buddies – but I don’t like running on streets with no sidewalks with them. It’s hard enough keeping me from getting hit by a car. I also haven’t been running with them during marathon training – I figure, since they won’t be there on race day to pull me along, I need to get used to doing this without them. I miss them terribly, though!

What do you like about running alone? Running with friends?


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16 responses to “On running buddies”

  1. Justin Avatar

    I run by myself most of the time; most serious runners do. I’ll run with one friend of mine every week or two and thankfully we’re evenly-paced. But sometimes I run with friends that go a different pace, and when you do that and have to decide whether to break apart or stay together, it comes down to how badly you want to maximize that workout. If it’s an important run for you, drop them like a bad habit, and of course they’ll understand — I would. But most of the time, as seriously as I take my training, I don’t really care if that run is a bit slower, because I’m only running with friends once every great while. It’s not my routine and therefore this is more a “fun run” than a serious run, as long as I still get my mileage. So if they need to stop once or twice or slow down, that’s fine. Cause I’m tearing it up by myself tomorrow 🙂

  2. Justin Avatar

    I run by myself most of the time; most serious runners do. I’ll run with one friend of mine every week or two and thankfully we’re evenly-paced. But sometimes I run with friends that go a different pace, and when you do that and have to decide whether to break apart or stay together, it comes down to how badly you want to maximize that workout. If it’s an important run for you, drop them like a bad habit, and of course they’ll understand — I would. But most of the time, as seriously as I take my training, I don’t really care if that run is a bit slower, because I’m only running with friends once every great while. It’s not my routine and therefore this is more a “fun run” than a serious run, as long as I still get my mileage. So if they need to stop once or twice or slow down, that’s fine. Cause I’m tearing it up by myself tomorrow 🙂

  3. Chris Avatar

    Your bathroom break didn’t bother me one bit. In fact, I welcomed it especially since my runs are more to build up to distance, rather than time right now (and to be fun, of course). I had a very fun time with you last Saturday and I’m sorry I couldn’t go the full 16. You rock though and I’m proud!

    As for running in groups, I read an article recently in Runners World magazine that talked about the benefits of group running for training: http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-238-267–13074-0,00.html.
    .-= Chris´s last blog ..“Focus on the user and all else will follow” =-.

  4. Chris Avatar

    Your bathroom break didn’t bother me one bit. In fact, I welcomed it especially since my runs are more to build up to distance, rather than time right now (and to be fun, of course). I had a very fun time with you last Saturday and I’m sorry I couldn’t go the full 16. You rock though and I’m proud!

    As for running in groups, I read an article recently in Runners World magazine that talked about the benefits of group running for training: http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-238-267–13074-0,00.html.
    .-= Chris´s last blog ..“Focus on the user and all else will follow” =-.

  5. Amy Avatar

    I absolutely love this. I’ve just discovered you thru a friend and love your site.

    Now if I could only find a running buddy in NorCal!
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Thanks to all =-.

  6. Amy Avatar

    I absolutely love this. I’ve just discovered you thru a friend and love your site.

    Now if I could only find a running buddy in NorCal!
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Thanks to all =-.

  7. Jessica Avatar
    Jessica

    I usually end up running alone, mostly for two reasons: my weird schedule, and also because I am so slow that I usually end up at the back of a group, regardless of whether I start off with a group or not. I feel bad when faster people say they’ll run with me. Not all of them will do this, but some seem to want to go faster when I can’t do that, and I end up either killing myself trying to keep up with them or feeling bad about myself because I can’t hack it. I don’t mind people running ahead and waiting for me, I think that’s pretty cool. And at times like that, I try to remind myself that I’m not a runner per se, just someone who runs because i can and because I like to every so often.

    I do tend to take fewer breaks when i run alone though; you’d think it be the opposite, since I have no one to answer to but myself and could seemingly stop whenever I wanted. Not the case. I’m a very harsh critic and am constantly drilling myself/yelling at myself (inside my head, of course 🙂 ) to “KEEP GOING! YOU WILL *NOT* STOP!” So, I don’t, usually. Except today, since I wasn’t as familiar with the course and had to walk several times because it was uphill almost all the way back…

  8. Jessica Avatar
    Jessica

    I usually end up running alone, mostly for two reasons: my weird schedule, and also because I am so slow that I usually end up at the back of a group, regardless of whether I start off with a group or not. I feel bad when faster people say they’ll run with me. Not all of them will do this, but some seem to want to go faster when I can’t do that, and I end up either killing myself trying to keep up with them or feeling bad about myself because I can’t hack it. I don’t mind people running ahead and waiting for me, I think that’s pretty cool. And at times like that, I try to remind myself that I’m not a runner per se, just someone who runs because i can and because I like to every so often.

    I do tend to take fewer breaks when i run alone though; you’d think it be the opposite, since I have no one to answer to but myself and could seemingly stop whenever I wanted. Not the case. I’m a very harsh critic and am constantly drilling myself/yelling at myself (inside my head, of course 🙂 ) to “KEEP GOING! YOU WILL *NOT* STOP!” So, I don’t, usually. Except today, since I wasn’t as familiar with the course and had to walk several times because it was uphill almost all the way back…

  9. Kelly Tirman Avatar

    Great post!

    Back when we both were single and lived in the city I used to run with @AmyLipke. I was in such good shape back then. I have been trying to use Nike+ to set up challenges against other runners to keep me motivated. However until I shed another 10 pounds or so my workouts are more of a fast walk than a run to ensure I don’t hurt myself.

  10. Kelly Tirman Avatar

    Great post!

    Back when we both were single and lived in the city I used to run with @AmyLipke. I was in such good shape back then. I have been trying to use Nike+ to set up challenges against other runners to keep me motivated. However until I shed another 10 pounds or so my workouts are more of a fast walk than a run to ensure I don’t hurt myself.

  11. Kevin Avatar

    Awesome post. I often think about this issue. As I have said before, I think the running buddies need to discuss the details of the run beforehand and then follow through, but at the same timeI can see the benefits of both running bymyself and with others for different reasons.

    Hey @KellyTirman, now you are challenged by other runners, so we motivate on!!!
    .-= Kevin´s last blog ..a confession =-.

  12. Kevin Avatar

    Awesome post. I often think about this issue. As I have said before, I think the running buddies need to discuss the details of the run beforehand and then follow through, but at the same timeI can see the benefits of both running bymyself and with others for different reasons.

    Hey @KellyTirman, now you are challenged by other runners, so we motivate on!!!
    .-= Kevin´s last blog ..a confession =-.

  13. Heather Avatar

    I did okay running with a buddy when we were both doing the Couch to 5k program, with scheduled walk breaks. That was a no-brainer.
    On the other hand, when I ran with another friend (one in much better shape than I), I ended up really beating up my body trying to keep up with her. Part of it was what you described, not feeling like I wanted to hold her back, but the other part was that she really gave me a lot of grief when I had to slow down. I think she was just not being a good running buddy, but it still turned me off.
    For me, I would never want someone to risk injury/dehydration/bladder infection by not stopping when they needed to on my account. I would hope that if I have a legitimate need to slow down or stop, my buddy would understand and either be okay with running in place while they waited, taking a break themselves, or going on without me and letting me catch up.
    .-= Heather´s last blog ..Another Tuesday =-.

  14. Heather Avatar

    I did okay running with a buddy when we were both doing the Couch to 5k program, with scheduled walk breaks. That was a no-brainer.
    On the other hand, when I ran with another friend (one in much better shape than I), I ended up really beating up my body trying to keep up with her. Part of it was what you described, not feeling like I wanted to hold her back, but the other part was that she really gave me a lot of grief when I had to slow down. I think she was just not being a good running buddy, but it still turned me off.
    For me, I would never want someone to risk injury/dehydration/bladder infection by not stopping when they needed to on my account. I would hope that if I have a legitimate need to slow down or stop, my buddy would understand and either be okay with running in place while they waited, taking a break themselves, or going on without me and letting me catch up.
    .-= Heather´s last blog ..Another Tuesday =-.

  15. crystal Avatar
    crystal

    Mine isn’t that I had a problem with the running buddy mentally. I wanted to slow down and stay with her, thinking that maybe I could go longer if I paced slower, but my calf cramped so bad that it literally hurt to walk when I finally stopped running. I was in pain! I’m exactly like Jessica up there to. It is so weird that I can push myself more when I’m alone than when I’m with someone. But also, I do not agree with you on not being a runner. I read a quote that said “All runners are equal, some are just faster than others.” You’re still an awesome runner at your own pace! Don’t let it get you down if others keep going. I use to feel that way when I ran with my husband. He would get ahead and I would feel like I was constantly trying to catch him, but now I’m in my own zone and I’m ok with it.

  16. crystal Avatar
    crystal

    Mine isn’t that I had a problem with the running buddy mentally. I wanted to slow down and stay with her, thinking that maybe I could go longer if I paced slower, but my calf cramped so bad that it literally hurt to walk when I finally stopped running. I was in pain! I’m exactly like Jessica up there to. It is so weird that I can push myself more when I’m alone than when I’m with someone. But also, I do not agree with you on not being a runner. I read a quote that said “All runners are equal, some are just faster than others.” You’re still an awesome runner at your own pace! Don’t let it get you down if others keep going. I use to feel that way when I ran with my husband. He would get ahead and I would feel like I was constantly trying to catch him, but now I’m in my own zone and I’m ok with it.